


Frozen Embers

by Drindalis



Series: 'Reddie For Anything' Soulmate AU [2]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Ben Loves Beverly But Not Himself, Ben is a Sad Boy, F/M, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Soulmarks, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, self hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 14:12:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12842865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drindalis/pseuds/Drindalis
Summary: Beverly's eyes widened as she looked at their matching soulmarks, mouth open in a surprised little 'o'. Ben took a stumbling step back, tears welling in his eyes as he slapped a hand over his soulmark to hide it, shame and regret evident in his eyes."I-I'm sosorry,Bev!" he choked out softly, before rushing from the room. He heard them call for him to come back, but he didn't turn around. Beverly deserved...so much betterthan him.





	Frozen Embers

**Author's Note:**

> What's up guys? This is the much requested sequel to 'Inked Upon My Heart', where Ben finally gets his soulmark. Warnings for self esteem issues, heavy stuff in here, guys, so mind the tags and hopefully enjoy!

It's the day before Ben's birthday, and everyone is celebrating.

The Losers are all gathered at Bill's house, the exact midway point between everyone else's houses and also one of the most spacious. Ben's home was definitely not big enough to have three friends over, let alone six, so Bill offered up his own home as the best place for the youngest Loser's thirteenth birthday party.

Richie and Eddie both come over early to help set up decorations. The two had been attached at the hip since Richie's thirteenth birthday, and although Ben sometimes caught Richie staring at the soulmark on his wrist with worry in his eyes, Eddie would take his wrist and press kisses just over his pulse point until it devolved into a wrestling match complete with tickling and Eddie howling that the floor was dirty while Richie cackled madly.

Ben shipped it.

To be fair, so did all the other Losers. Henry and his gang still gave them a hard time for the 'event' where Richie punched Henry in the face, but despite that, the two were happy together.

Stan had several pen pals that he wrote to, having contacted the local government office to register his soulmark, the location, color, and day it showed up. People could contact this office to request information of the people whose marks had arrived within the time frame and color that could match theirs, and try to get in contact that way. Right now there were around thirty seven girls that could possibly be Stan's soulmate, and he wrote to each one diligently, hoping to narrow it down. Richie teased him and called him a player, but Stan only huffed. "I'm not a player, Richie! It's not like I'm flirting with any of them! I'm just trying to find out more details so I can be sure. Sometimes people lie about what exactly the mark says or they don't get the correct shade. One of the girls registered her mark as pale green and when she sent me a picture, it was clearly aquamarine!" He sputtered indignantly. "Besides, I think I already know which one it is. Her name is Patty Blum and she lives in Georgia. Her mark makes the most contextual sense when paired with mine." He said matter of factly.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a second, hold the phone, Stan the Man. One of them sent you a picture? Was it boobs? Please tells me it was boobs." Richie asked, looking excited. Eddie swatted him, looking irritated as Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.

"Richie, what the hell is wrong with you, you don't even like boobs..." Eddie grumbled.

Richie grinned. "Hey, a man can ask, can't he? Besides, Eddie, I like _your boobs._ You're almost an A cup now!" He pretended to wipe away an imaginary tear even as Eddie turned red and wrapped an entire roll of streamers around the bottom half of Richie's face.

"Prhtty khhnky, Hhds." Richie said happily and somewhat muffled around the makeshift gag, shooting his boyfriend a thumbs up.

"Don't call me Eds, oh my God why do I bring you out in public..."

Ben laughed, going to the kitchen to help Bill prepare snacks. 

Bill's take on the soulmate problem was much more laid back than Stan. "I m-mean, if I nuh-never meet h-her than we wouldn't be suh-soulmates, r-right? I'll muh-meet her e-e-eventually, I thuh-think if I looked as h-hard as Stan is, I'd puh-prob-buh-bably go crazy." And that was that.

Mike's soulmate was a quiet, soft spoken Jewish girl named Deborah Kerry. She was very sweet and good natured, and was just as short as Eddie. Her hair was pale blonde and cut to chin length, and she got along reasonably well with the rest of the Losers, especially Stan and Ben. However, a lot of Richie's jokes went over her head and she didn't care for the smell of Bev's cigarettes. Deb had stopped by briefly that day to wish Ben a happy birthday and give him a book on ancient civilizations (his current favorite subject) before waving at the others and heading home. 

As much as Mike clicked with her and was so genuinely happy to have found her, Deborah was a very separate entity from the Losers. Even when the eight of them all hung out, it was pretty clear that she was Seperate. Other. Not of the Seven. Still, the rest of the club were thrilled that Mike had found his soulmate, someone who could see just how sweet and kind and _great_ they all thought he was, and didn't mind her being invited to the occasional movie night or party.

Beverly had been rubbing at her shoulder more often lately. Ben was too nervous to say anything to her, didn't want to pry, but he longed to pull her aside and ask if she was okay, and to assure her that her soulmate was out there somewhere. But he was too afraid.

So he asked Bill to do it for him.

He knew he was pushing them together, and hated himself for it a little more every time he saw Beverly smile at Bill like he was the morning sun breaking through a cloudy day. 

It wasn't that he hated Bill, because he didn't, not at all. Everyone in the Loser's Club was a little bit in love with Bill, even (sometimes especially) Stan. It was just hard for Ben to not compare himself to him.

He knew objectively that looks weren't everything, that he probably had some good qualities to offer, (although the one time he had tried to summon a few his mind had gone worrying blank) but he couldn't help but notice that Bill had started to shoot up in height, had started putting on lithe muscle and was probably one of the better looking guys in the Loser's Club. 

Mike was the best looking and they all knew it. His body was built like an ox from years of helping with the farm, and his face was warm and inviting, a smile always forthcoming. He was such a kindhearted boy as well, which only made him more admirable. Yes, Mike was the most physically attractive, but that wasn't the point.

Eddie was adorable, his sleek brown hair and small dimples standing out whenever he and Ben studied together. Even wearing a literal fanny pack every day didn't distract from his cute features and sunny personality. He was never afraid to help out his friends, from bandaging up small injuries to even sneaking them into his bedroom whenever they needed time away from home. One time he had literally stashed Beverly in his closet when his mom had stomped up the stairs unexpectedly, whining about not taking his pills on time.

Stan was beautiful, somehow. It was hard to explain, but his clean cut appearance and immaculately clean way of living, combined with a soft voice and the way he paid intense attention to every detail was awe inspiring. To live in a world that was always trying to hurry, and still manage to take the time to notice things? It was incredibly unique.

Richie was...Richie. He wasn't gorgeous in the traditional sense; his front teeth were oversized, his glasses absolutely swallowed up real estate on his thin face, his wild black hair was constantly ruffled and in a state of defying gravity, and his fashion sense left something to be desired...but it was his soul that was beautiful. He had a way of lighting up the room with his energy, zest, and hunger for life that left Ben feeling amazed every time he did it. Plus, he was hysterical.

Bill was....everything Ben wished he could say about himself. Bill was confident, kind, and led the group effortlessly. He was never afraid to speak his mind, and yet was secure enough in his masculinity to be vulnerable and admit to his flaws without fearing harsh words or judgement from others. 

He was everything Ben wasn't, and that made him _perfect._

How could he not judge himself in the face of such an attractive group of people? Beverly was already a stunning young woman, her smile literally made Ben's heart stop and he felt himself getting flustered anytime she looked in his direction. He didn't know how to express how much he loved her beyond writing poems, doodling them in the back of his notebooks. Once when he was feeling particularly brave, he wrote his favorite on a postcard and mailed it to her. He didn't sign his name, hadn't quite had the nerve for that, but judging by the way Beverly had been stuck to Bill's side like glue afterwards, she had assumed it was from him.

He couldn't blame her for preferring Bill. 

If he had to choose between Bill and himself, he'd choose Bill too.

He was snapped out of his melancholy thoughts by Mike placing a hand on his shoulder, grinning. "Hey, Ben! Happy birthday, man! I brought a couple movies that I know you actually like so we don't just have to sit through Richie spazzing out over how much he loves Ghostbusters again."

Ben grinned at the taller boy. "My hero." He joked, eyes lighting up as he spotted the Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles, two of his personal favorites. 

Tonight Ben was determined to have fun, it was his birthday, after all.

* * *

The hours rolled by quickly, the Losers having spent the first few minutes assembling an epic pillow fort of cushions and blankets. Ben, Richie, Mike, Bill, and Bev all lay sprawled over each other inside, while Eddie perched just outside, mumbling something about germs and enclosed spaces. Ben tried not to grin like an idiot when Richie reached out of the fort to hold Eddie's hand during the movie. They were just too cute together.

Stan likewise sat outside the fort, close enough to the TV that he could adjust the volume due to Richie throwing the remote at Beverly during a teasing match and accidentally knocking the batteries out. One of them had been retrieved out of the stack of wrapped presents, but the other had swan dived into the cheese dip and was declared a lost cause.

They held a mini funeral for 'Dudley the Dead Battery', and Richie wouldn't settle down and be quiet until Bill went out and buried it in the sandbox. Stan picked a flower to lay on the grave and Mike played a tiny tune by whistling grass between his thumbs. Eddie nudged a rock over top of the grave with the toe of his shoe as a marker. Richie smirked wickedly and nudged Ben in the side. "Hey, Haystack, say something _poetic,_ we've lost ourselves a soldier, here." Ben stuttered and flushed red in mortification, but was rescued by Georgie poking his head out the back door and sleepily calling that Mrs. Denbrough wanted them all inside to open presents. 

Stan had gotten Ben a new planner, with each page adorned with a quote from a famous philosopher. Ben was thrilled with it despite Richie teasing that he didn't deserve to be punished on his birthday. The Trashmouth himself had gotten him the newest New Kids On The Block record, using a bright red sharpie to add defining features on each band member to make them look like the Loser's Club, with two stick figures representing Beverly and Mike since the band consisted of five white boys.

Mike had gotten him a new booklight, since his old one had broken from overuse only a week prior. Bill's gift was a VHS copy of a documentary on ancient civilizations, and honestly Ben was thrilled to watch it later. Eddie had looked flustered and rubbed the back of his head, before handing over a plate full of cookies he had made. Ben grinned happily, even as Richie threw an arm over his shoulder. "Now, my man made those just for you, and I'll have you know that he's an amazing cook. If youse don' appreciate 'em, yer gonna end up wit a pair o' concrete bunny slippers, capiche?" He asked in a mobster voice.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Don't listen to him, Ben, he's just mad that I wouldn't let him 'taste test' more than two."

Bev went to reach for her present only to swear, her face red and flustered. "Damn! I knew I was forgetting something! Sorry, Ben, let me just run home and get it-"

"No, no, it's okay, Bev. Don't worry about it, let's just...watch the movie?" Ben asked, not wanting her to feel bad. It was just a present, no big deal.

She looked disappointed but remained quiet.

As the night rolled on, Richie gravitated out of the tent to snuggle next to Eddie on the floor, using the shorter boy's legs as a pillow, leaving just Mike, Ben, Beverly, and Bill left inside the fort. All of them were laying on their stomachs to watch the second movie, although Ben's heart was pounding so hard from feeling Beverly's long hair gently brushing against his arm that he was surprised she didn't notice. 

He flushed deep red, turning his attention back to the movie. 

One by one, the rest of the Loser's Club were falling out. Stan's perfect posture had slowly deteriorated into a small slump, his chin brushing against his chest as he dozed lightly. Bill yawned and gave him a tiny push, Stan flopping gracelessly back onto the pile of pillows and giving a tiny snore as Bill curled up next to him. Ben gave a small smile as he watched. Stan slept _hard_ whenever he deviated from his usual sleep schedule, and staying up until nearly midnight was definitely breaking that schedule.

Mike was close to slumber himself, resting his chin in his hand even as his head slumped ever lower.

Bev was still up, completely fixated on the movie, reaching out to grab another handful of popcorn only for Ben's hand to be there already. 

"Whoops, sorry, Ben." she said softly with a grin, even as Ben recoiled and quickly pulled his hand out of the bowl. 

"N-no, it's okay, Bev, have as much as you want."

He heard Eddie giggle quietly and glanced over to see Richie had fallen asleep too, glasses askew on his thin face and a thin line of drool visible on his chin. His arms were clamped so tightly around Eddie's waist that for an instant Ben thought that Richie couldn't possibly be asleep, but then Eddie tried to move again and those skinny arms stayed wrapped around him like a vice. Eddie snickered and looked somewhat helplessly at Beverly and Ben.

"Help..? I just wanted to get another glass of punch..." he murmured, amusement in his voice. Ben shared a small glance at Beverly, who grinned and pointed at Mike. He was now totally asleep and leaning up against her, as quietly serene in sleep as he was awake.

"If I move, he'll wake up. Ben...? Could you-?"

"Y-Yeah, of course!" he stuttered, getting to his feet quickly. Ben would have done anything she asked him to do, and with a smile. "Do...do you want some punch too, Beverly?" he asked in a moment of bravery. She smiled and nodded.

"That would be great, Ben, thanks."

He slipped into the Denbrough's kitchen and found the punch in the fridge, carefully pouring two glasses and glancing at the clock. 11:58 already? Time flew when you were having fun, and boy, had this party been fun.

"Psst, Eddie. Here you go." He handed over the glass and Eddie gave him a grateful smile. 

"Thanks, Ben!" he whispered, sipping at the drink as he turned his attention back to the movie, on of Richie's long gangly legs flopping over his back. "He's like an actual octopus."

Ben and Bev chuckled even as he reached out to hand her the punch. Her slender fingers brushed slightly against his, and the resulting electricity that raced up his arm almost made him drop the glass. 

Beverly's face looked confused for a moment but she shook her head and smiled again. "Thank you, Ben."

He felt his face flush red and smiled embarrassedly. "N-no problem, Bev..."

Eddie gasped suddenly, the noise loud in the quiet room. Richie snorted once, bolting awake fast enough that it made Ben wonder fearfully what made Richie feel like he had to be able to awaken instantly at any sign of danger.

Stan and Bill's heads popped up from under the mountain of blankets. "Whas...wha's goin' on?" Stan asked sleepily. Mike snapped his head up, looking surprisingly alert for waking from a dead sleep.

Ben blinked in surprise as he saw Eddie pointing directly at him. "Ben! Ben, your soulmark!"

He froze, eyes wide as he looked down and saw the deep crimson words beginning to bloom out from under his shirt sleeve. Heart racing, he tugged it up to see the words 'My heart burns there, too. It always has.' flowing across his skin like water in a thin looping cursive. 

At the same time, he looked over to see Beverly's own soulmark fading into clarity, thick and neatly printed script reading, 'C'mon, Bev, don't cry. Your hair is winter fire... January...embers...'

Her eyes widened as she looked down at her mark and then up at him, mouth open in a surprised little 'o'. Ben took a stumbling step back, tears welling in his eyes as he slapped a hand over his soulmark to hide it, shame and regret evident in his eyes.

"I-I'm so _sorry,_ Bev!" Ben choked out softly, before rushing from the room. He heard several cries of 'wait!' but he kept going, slipping out the screen door and picking up his bike, before pedaling into the darkness down the street.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm hoping to turn this universe into a small series, so let me know if there's anything in particular you'd like to see from any of the characters! Message me on tumblr or leave a comment, my tumblr is thelosersclubasshole. Thanks for reading!


End file.
